Man comes home, finds his wife with his friend in bed.
He took out a gun and killed him. 
Wife says:
 "If you behave like this, you will lose ALL your friends". 
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A small Boy wrote to Santa Claus," send me a brother" 
Santa wrote back," SEND ME YOUR MOTHER" 
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What is the definition of Mistress? 
Someone between the Mister and Mattress 
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What's the difference between stress, tension and panic? 
Stress is when wife is pregnant, 
Tension is when girlfriend is pregnant, 
And Panic is when both are pregnant. 
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A women asks man who is traveling with six children,
"Are all these kids Yours??" 
The man replies:
"No, I work in a condom factory and these are customer
complaints". 
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A young boy asks his Dad, "What is the difference between
confident and confidential. 
Dad says:
"You are my son, I'm confident about that. Your friend over
there, is also my son, that's confidential!"
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