Quickies II

Man comes home, finds his wife with his friend in bed.
He took out a gun and killed him.
Wife says:
"If you behave like this, you will lose ALL your friends".

A small Boy wrote to Santa Claus," send me a brother"
Santa wrote back," SEND ME YOUR MOTHER"

What is the definition of Mistress?
Someone between the Mister and Mattress

What's the difference between stress, tension and panic?
Stress is when wife is pregnant,
Tension is when girlfriend is pregnant,
And Panic is when both are pregnant.

A women asks man who is traveling with six children,
"Are all these kids Yours??"
The man replies:
"No, I work in a condom factory and these are customer complaints".

A young boy asks his Dad,
"What is the difference between confident and confidential.
Dad says:
"You are my son, I'm confident about that.
Your friend over there, is also my son, that's confidential!"